I met her today...
She told me the stories of her life. Her English is perfect but she kept telling me that her English is still bad.
She is a single mother with 2 kids, none of the kids stay with her, It doesn't mean she doesn't love the kids, She said it's difficult to have kids when you are not married. She gave the daughter to her sister and let her son lives with his father.
She told me how hard life was for an 8 years old girl losing her mother and have to live poorly with her dad and 2 brothers. She must struggle to breath and to feed themselves. She felt so grateful that her 2 brothers now can support themselves. "Life was hard and that's why people see me so tough and stiff, well.. I am, but most of the time I felt so lonely."
She told me how it is so easy for her to get any good looking Farang (Westerner) she want, and yes I believe her, as she is so pretty and have a very fluent English... She used to date a rich and young Australian for 2,5 years but she said she felt insecure by being over protected, over jealous by her Australian boyfriend, that's why she broke up with him.
She told me that there are so many people try to get close to her, but "I am not young anymore!", she said and she explained that she needs security, she needs a future... and I totally understand that. The way she explained was so elegant and open.
She is a single mother with 2 kids added with a very harsh experience of life from childhood. I was nodding and smiling, holding myself not to judge her... and who am I judging her, anyway?
She is now in relationship with a good friend of me, A very good hearted old man from the west. She said she needs more than 10 months to know someone and love someone... at least 2 years...I was laughing and exhaling..... [Laughing??? - Yes, totally I don't know why I was laughing and Exhaling??? - honestly, I don't know either how to react. Yes, I am stupid!)
Before I said goodbye I told her that she must be more open and try to move on... our show must go on and if we stay the same.. we will left behind. I don't know if my words will make any difference.
I have a very bad stereotype when seeing a young Thai woman walking with old Farang. God forgive me... I was totally wrong to her.
*While writing.. a song played
"Don't Let Me Go" - by Click Five
I can see your shadow lying in the moonlight
I can hear your heartbeat playing on my right side
Every night I long for this, makin' up what I miss
I can hear you breathing letting out a sad sigh
You tried so hard to hide your scars, Always on your guard
Don't, dont let me go, Don't make me hold on when you're not
Don't, dont turn away What can I say so you wont
No dont, dont let me go...
I can see the skyline fading in the distance, Tears are coming down
I'm trying just to make sense,I don't listen to the radio just the engine and the road
I wonder if my words are makin' any difference
I dream and then it seem to end but always come again
Don't, don't let me go, Don't make me hold on when you're not
Don't, don't turn away, What can I say so you wont
No dont, dont let me go...
I'm comin' down to where you're standing
I need you now or you'll be watching me hit the ground with crashing in....
Don't let me go...